Everyone whos ever been in a relationship knows how hard it is when your partner dosent like one of your close friends. Its awkward and you have to organize your social life around it, making sure they dont have to be around each other. To try and please your partner, while not upsetting the friend.
To have to double check everything you say around your friend, "Dont poison the well." Is a saying i picked up somewhere, the complete saying being,
"You cant poison the well, and then ask them to drink from it."
"You cant poison the well, and then ask them to drink from it."
Its even harder when its common knowledge that said friend has more than friendly feelings for you. What is the right thing to do then?
Just end the friendship? Try and curb their feelings?
I will not lie, and it has been put to me countless times. If the situation was reversed i wouldnt tolerate such a poisonous friend
ship to exist. Does this mean the right thing to do is to weed this friendship from our lives? And yet...
To do it would be painful. Although the friendship is difficult, although in some ways it is abnormal, to throw it aside would be like severing a limb. For in some of my darkest times that is just what it has been, something to lean into to learn to walk again. A lung to breathe again. The laughter that shattered the maddening silence in my head.
Just end the friendship? Try and curb their feelings?
I will not lie, and it has been put to me countless times. If the situation was reversed i wouldnt tolerate such a poisonous friend
ship to exist. Does this mean the right thing to do is to weed this friendship from our lives? And yet...To do it would be painful. Although the friendship is difficult, although in some ways it is abnormal, to throw it aside would be like severing a limb. For in some of my darkest times that is just what it has been, something to lean into to learn to walk again. A lung to breathe again. The laughter that shattered the maddening silence in my head.
Its painful to watch my Fiance suffer through my inability to end my this friendship. To consider ending it is equally as painful.
It was my hope to pacify the jealousy on either end, but no matter how hard i try, everyone is hurt.
I had hoped time would heal all wounds, maybe i need more time?
But how much can i ask of these two people? Whom i love, but in drastically different ways. The one who i want to share myself with, be one with, the one who is my balance, my rock, who made me a mother and made me feel love again. Who i feel a part of, who is so different from me, but we piece together so perfectly all the same.
And the one who is like my other self, who shares my interests and humor. Who is always there to listen and to talk endlessly about the most ridiculous topics. Who makes me feel young again, who is a undeniably fantastic Friend and one of the best i have.
How can i willingly hurt two such people?
But how do i save them both?
It was my hope to pacify the jealousy on either end, but no matter how hard i try, everyone is hurt.
I had hoped time would heal all wounds, maybe i need more time?
But how much can i ask of these two people? Whom i love, but in drastically different ways. The one who i want to share myself with, be one with, the one who is my balance, my rock, who made me a mother and made me feel love again. Who i feel a part of, who is so different from me, but we piece together so perfectly all the same.
And the one who is like my other self, who shares my interests and humor. Who is always there to listen and to talk endlessly about the most ridiculous topics. Who makes me feel young again, who is a undeniably fantastic Friend and one of the best i have.
How can i willingly hurt two such people?
But how do i save them both?
I have no answers.
No comments:
Post a Comment